Trash Bags Are Good For More Than Trash

I could hear them coming down the street. I had to move fast.

I cautiously opened the back door and gently eased the trash bag I was carrying on to the patio.

You see, he waits every morning at the same place for me...except I never know where the lines to his trap are tied.

I surveyed the area in front of me, hoping a bit of sunlight would make the otherwise invisible lines appear.

Ha!

There was one in front of me.

I looked on the ground around me. There was no stick in sight to knock it down. I was losing time. I could hear them getting even closer. I did the only thing I could. I grabbed the trash bag and held it in front of me like a shield.

I blasted my way through the anchor lines to the spider's web. In my head I was Mel Gibson in Braveheart shouting, "FREEEEDOMMMMMM!"

Except this was 6:30AM.

And the neighbors were asleep.

And they would think I was nuts.

I mean, they already know I'm weird. But a 6ft tall woman, in her pajamas, running around her backyard with a trash bag in front of her face screaming, "FREEEEDOMMMMMMMM!!!!!" is a whole new level of weird.

Anyway, I raced around the back of the house, up the sidewalk, with the trash bag as my spider web shield. The trash truck was getting closer - only 4 houses away! I got the trash bag in the trash can and ran back around the house all without being seen by the trash collectors and the neighbors. And I outwitted Mr. Spider again.

BOOM!