Tuesday, September 14, 2010

A Story Told Through Facebook Posts

Post #1
Beautiful, crisp morning! Perfect for a lovely morning walk. It's Primary Day, so I'm going to put on my tennis shoes and walk to my local polling facility. They are all open now and will be until 8PM. One of these days, I want them to give out a lollipops instead of stickers. So does my 82 year old neighbor. Except he says he wants his flavored with scotch. I told him butterscotch sounded yummy to me too!


Post #2
Moron moment of the day. I walked to my local polling place 15 minutes away. Walked back (all hills I might add). Everyone in my house is gone. Gone. House is locked up. I can't tell you the last time everyone was out before 8am. I didn't take my keys. No one answered their phone. I could die out here. All alone. They'll find me on the front porch, curled into a ball hugging the geranium plant in the plastic basket.


Post #3
Locked out of the house update: there are grape tomatoes on the vine in our backyard plus lots of basil and I can wash it with the hose. I am now gathering nuts for the squirrel family that lives in the tree in our front yard. I gathered only the choicest of acorns and placed them at the base of the tree. Jeanne - I did lunges as I picked up the acorns, you'll be happy to know.


Post #4
He's here! He's here!! My daddy came home!!! I'm rescued!! He got out of the truck, looked at me, looked at his cell phone, and said, "Hey..um...I don't look at my cell while I'm at the track. Whaddya know...you called!" Yes, Dad. Yes, I did call.




...And Now For The Moral of This Story...


#1. Don't gather acorns for squirrels. They don't appreciate your hard work. They threw a stick at my head. Ungrateful tree rats.

#2. Always keep a spare protein bar and bottle of water in your car because you never know when you will need it. Like today. The trick is keeping your car unlocked. Like today.

#3. Download Tic-Tac-Toe for your iPhone. It comes in handy. Knowing how to turn the game on "easy" is even more handy so you can WIN every time!! Score!

#4. When you get bored with Tic-Tac-Toe, download Connect 4 for your iPhone. "Get three in a row...go for one more...go for it!! Connect 4!!" It's fun, and if you're a child born in the 80's, it makes you feel like you're 10 again. Bonus: your brother isn't there to flip the game upside down when he loses.

#5. If you go for a walk, don't trust your family to remember that you went for a walk. Even if it's just a 30 minute walk down the road to do your civic duty. Take your keys with you. Even if you don't want to hear them jingle like a janitor's keys, take them with you.

#6. The end.

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