He's Writing Your Story

A young friend of mine, in her early twenties, was lamenting that "all" of her friends were having kids and putting pressure on her to find a husband and have kids ASAP.

It made me feel sad for her. I remember the pressure of that age; although, I can concede that much of it was implied pressure I put on myself. I saw my friends in relationships, getting married, beginning their families, and I felt the expectation that I needed to join in as if the twenties are the golden time to make all of that happen. Then there was the spoken pressure from family and friends...

"How come you aren't seeing anyone?" 

"You need to get out there - get yourself a boyfriend!" 

"You should be having your first child by now!"

"You're not married yet? With all of your skills?" 

All of it made me question myself...

"Am I really that ugly?" 

"Is it because I'm not skinny enough?" 

"Does my personality stink that badly?" 

"Am I too Type A for someone?" 

"What's wrong with me?"

It made me question God...

"Why isn't this happening?" 

"Why are you letting me hurt so badly?"  

"Why aren't you giving me what I want?"  

"What have I done wrong?"  

"What's wrong with me?"

I kept coming back to the question, "What's wrong with me that I'm not like them?" One day, I finally started hearing and believing God when He would say, "There's nothing wrong with you. I didn't create you to be like them. I created you to be you. I've written a story that's just for you, just like I've written a story for each of them that's just for them. Your story looks different from their story, just like their story looks different from yours. Do you trust Me with your story? Will you put down their book and pick up the one I'm writing for you?"

I left my book sitting in a corner for quite a long time, until I got tired of feeling hurt. I figured it couldn't make me feel any worse to pick up my own book. I discovered some amazing chapters and am embracing the stories within. I read them with anticipation.

Family and friends mean well. When they begin to question the marital relationship chapters of my book and wonder why the pages are blank, it's just because they treasure the filled pages of their own book so much. You know how it is: When you have something you love so much, you want to share it so someone else can share in the experience.

So, what would I tell my young friend to say to her friends who are pressuring to "find" someone? I would tell her to smile and gently share that "the story God is writing for me looks different than the story He's writing for you. My story of love and joy is being written differently than your story of love and joy. It's still a story of love, joy, and hope, but God's writing mine with me in mind."

If you're asking, "What's wrong with me?" I'm here to tell you there is nothing wrong with you. God's writing a story about you and for you. All you need to do is dust off the cover of your book and open to the first page to see it.

-- Erin

PS - Give Francesca Battistelli's song, "Write Your Story" a listen here

Single and Overwhelmingly Loved

Sometimes, being single and having a Facebook account doesn't mesh for me.

For the most part, I can handle seeing the engagement announcements, the pictures of the sparkly ring on the left hand, the pictures of the new bride and groom, the sonogram pictures, the happy family pictures, etc.

And then there are times when I can't handle it.

I suppose it's no different for the man or woman who is struggling in their marriage who sees their friends post seemingly happy pictures of their marriage. Or the couple struggling with infertility and feels heartache when seeing pictures of their friends/family having fun with their children. Or the jobless man or woman being reminded daily that they don't have a job by their friends' incessant whining about the job they have but hate.

At the root of all these feelings, I think, are the opposites of contentment: jealousy and fear. Jealousy of what others have that I don't; fear that I won't ever get the things I want the most.

Instead of being content where God has me and the opportunities He's given me, there are times when I can't stop focusing on the opportunities He HASN'T given me.

I try hard to drive in the lane that God has me in, but every now and then I have the tendency to get over into someone else's lane. And when I do that, I crash. Big time.

No surprise there.

And so when I crash and burn, I do what I usually do... I go for a "therapeutic walk" have it out with God. I tell Him how I feel. I regroup. I apologize for my ingratitude. I thank God for the joys and successes He's bringing into my friends' lives. I thank Him for the story He's writing in my own life. I ask Him for patience as I read the story He's writing for me. I also ask Him to help me not to jump ahead and make conclusions about the chapters I haven't read yet.

God knows, at the heart of my discontentment, is that I just want to be loved and feel love. I want to be singled out by someone's love for me.

And so God, ever knowing and ever patient and ever kind and ever loving towards me, singles me out and shows me how much He loves me. Not because He has to. But because He wants to. Because He loves me.

When He goes to such great lengths to create a leaf shaped heart and drop it on the sidewalk in the perfect place for me to see like he did last night...

When He takes two little twigs and arranges them perfectly on the sidewalk in the shape of a cross, making sure that I'm looking down at the exact moment to see it, like He did for me last night...

...how can I not know that I'm loved? How can I not feel loved? A heart... the perfect example of feel-good-squishy-kind-of-love. A cross... the perfect example of sacrificial love. "But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners." - Romans 5:8

God does give us the desires of our heart; sometimes, it's just in ways we don't expect. But isn't that the fun of a relationship? Being surprised by your loved one with tangible expressions of love in ways and at times when you least expect it?

I'm no different from my engaged/married friends. They have someone to surprise them with sweet gifts and reminders of their love. I always appreciate it when my Someone takes time to surprise me too... and He literally moves heaven and earth to do it!


If you're married or have a special someone and haven't surprised that someone with a gift in their "love language" in a while, would you do that for me today?

I Will... Wait

God is so personal. I firmly believe God provides for us, personally, right when we need it.

I saw this video this morning and was overwhelmed by the message.

It was right when I needed it.

The message is directed at single women, but the message is universal. Are we willing to wait on His best for us...and be content that His best for us is Himself?

Jesus IS worth the wait for me.


But to my Father
My Father who has known me before I was birthed onto this earth
Only if You should see fit
I desire Your will above mine
So even if You call me to a life of singleness
My heart is content
You are the greatest love story ever told
You are the greatest love ever known
You are forever my judge
And I am forever Your witness
And I pray that I'm always found on a mission about my Father's business
I will always be Yours
And I will always wait for You, Lord
More than the watchmen wait for the morning
More than the watchmen wait for the morning, I will...
...WAIT


I don't know who Janette...ikz is, but I wish I could give her a big old hug right about now. Watch the video. You'll want to hug her too.

And you'll probably wish you felt cool and brave enough to fix your hair like hers.

And wear bangles on both arms, not just one.

Or is that just me?

Redirected Dreams

As I was packing up "The Go Girl Mobile" for this evening's Soul Surfer movie preview we're hosting, it occurred to me how drastically my life has changed since 2003 when I bought my CR-V.

I thought long and hard about what kind of car I needed. My plan was to open my own catering business, so I knew I needed a vehicle with lots and LOTS of storage space. Plus, I planned on getting married in the next few years, so I needed something with a high safety rating. I could already envision two little car seats in the backseat. And so I landed on the Honda CR-V...in blue, of course. Plenty of room, high safety rating, my favorite color...we were going to go places!

Eight years later, and there's no catering business, no marriage, and no children.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." -Jeremiah 29:11

If I had told myself 8 years ago that I wouldn't go into catering, and I wouldn't be married by 30, I think I would have died. Just dieeeeed. I can hear my conversation with God now, "GOD! My dream is to be a caterer! My dream is to be married!! My dream is to have children!!! How do You NOT consider this disastrous?? THAT is a disaster! A COMPLETE DISASTER! What's left for me?? Where is the 'hope and a future' in THAT??"

If God had given me a choice between the life I dreamed and the life He's given me now, I would have easily said 'no' to God's plan. I mean, what could be better than my dream? Had I kept following my plans, I would have missed out on the joy of being right where He wants me.

"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9

The best part is it's not over yet. I'm so thankful God is the one who determines my steps. He's done a pretty good job :-).

What's the dream you had in mind for yourself, but God has turned it into something better?

We're Single & We're Awesome Plus We Have Chocolate Party

We're single.

We're awesome.

We have chocolate.

And all of the above is worth celebrating!

We single people tend to get lost in the Valentine's Day shuffle, which is completely understandable since the holiday is really a celebration of love for couples or small children who know how to cut a heart out of construction paper with safety scissors. That's not a complaint, by the way. I'm happy for my married friends who take it as an opportunity to celebrate their love for one another. I also take it as an opportunity to pray for my married friends.

As a single person, however, Valentine's Day kinda makes me feel like the kid picked last for dodgeball. Or like the kid who couldn't find a partner for the three legged race at school so she had to sit off to the sides, feeling completely left out, and watch all the other kids have fun.

That never happened to me, by the way.

Honest.

Fine.

The dodgeball part is true.

I Call It The "S" Word

I never realized how one word was capable of drawing so many emotions and responses: joy, fear, sorrow, sympathy, consolation, faux adoration, religiosity.

There could be a bajillion words around it, but it's the only word that is focused on. It's like honey to a bee. Peanut butter to a mouse. Mr. Darcy to a Jane Austen fan. Sports to a man. Chocolate to a woman. When this word is used, certain people instantly have to comment. They have to share their opinion.

The word is: