It made me feel sad for her. I remember the pressure of that age; although, I can concede that much of it was implied pressure I put on myself. I saw my friends in relationships, getting married, beginning their families, and I felt the expectation that I needed to join in as if the twenties are the golden time to make all of that happen. Then there was the spoken pressure from family and friends...
"How come you aren't seeing anyone?"
"You need to get out there - get yourself a boyfriend!"
"You should be having your first child by now!"
"You're not married yet? With all of your skills?"
All of it made me question myself...
"Am I really that ugly?"
"Is it because I'm not skinny enough?"
"Does my personality stink that badly?"
"Am I too Type A for someone?"
"What's wrong with me?"
It made me question God...
"Why isn't this happening?"
"Why are you letting me hurt so badly?"
"Why aren't you giving me what I want?"
"What have I done wrong?"
"What's wrong with me?"
I kept coming back to the question, "What's wrong with me that I'm not like them?" One day, I finally started hearing and believing God when He would say, "There's nothing wrong with you. I didn't create you to be like them. I created you to be you. I've written a story that's just for you, just like I've written a story for each of them that's just for them. Your story looks different from their story, just like their story looks different from yours. Do you trust Me with your story? Will you put down their book and pick up the one I'm writing for you?"
I left my book sitting in a corner for quite a long time, until I got tired of feeling hurt. I figured it couldn't make me feel any worse to pick up my own book. I discovered some amazing chapters and am embracing the stories within. I read them with anticipation.
Family and friends mean well. When they begin to question the marital relationship chapters of my book and wonder why the pages are blank, it's just because they treasure the filled pages of their own book so much. You know how it is: When you have something you love so much, you want to share it so someone else can share in the experience.
So, what would I tell my young friend to say to her friends who are pressuring to "find" someone? I would tell her to smile and gently share that "the story God is writing for me looks different than the story He's writing for you. My story of love and joy is being written differently than your story of love and joy. It's still a story of love, joy, and hope, but God's writing mine with me in mind."
If you're asking, "What's wrong with me?" I'm here to tell you there is nothing wrong with you. God's writing a story about you and for you. All you need to do is dust off the cover of your book and open to the first page to see it.
PS - Give Francesca Battistelli's song, "Write Your Story" a listen here