Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Warning: Don't Eat the April Snowball

Average April weather in Baltimore is roughly 65 degrees.

Today's high? 86 degrees.

Tomorrow's high? 88 degrees.

It's hot - too hot for April, but I'm making it work. This weather has tricked my brain into thinking that it's June. It's tricked me so badly that it made me break my own rule: never consume a snowball before June. But, I decided that I had to have one, except the only way I'd allow myself to have it is if I walked the two miles round trip to get it.

So I got home from work, put on my exercise gear and went for a lovely little jog/walk to the snowball stand. Apparently, everyone else had the same thought. Once it was my turn, I happily ordered my usual - a small Skylite with marshmallow - forked over my cash, and stepped to the pick-up window.

But then my heart crashed.

The nice young man at the snowball stand peeked through the window and informed me they were out of Skylite.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed in my head.

The young man jumped to say, "We've got Blue Hawaii right now. It tastes exactly like Skylite - exactly like it."

I decided to trust the young man and go with it.

After one bite, it was clear to me that this sweet young man has never had a Skylite snowball in his life. You see, Skylite tastes of puffy clouds in a bright blue sky, unicorns running through open fields, the moment the Fairy Godmother appeared to Cinderella, sparkles, rainbows, and baby laughter.

This Blue Hawaii monstrosity did not. It was no comparison to Skylite. None. Nada. Zilch.

So I ate the marshmallow and a bit of the snowball and dumped the rest. If I'm going to consume pure sugar and chemical blue dye, then I'm going to do it the way I want.

Sigh.

And this, boys and girls, is why I wait until June to eat a snowball. It's just not worth rushing a good thing.

The End.

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