Monday, August 22, 2011

How Oscar Eggelbergensmithenscoober and Francois Oeufandbois Met Their Demise

This brief story is really about the demise of Oscar Eggelbergensmithenscoober and Francois Oeufandbois. When Oscar Eggelbergensmithenscoober and Francois Oeufandbois became best friends in the egg carton, it was obvious they would leave this world in a blaze of glory and it was just a matter of time.

Now, you would think by looking at Oscar's silly expression that he would be the troublemaker of the two, but looks can be deceiving.

You see, Francois managed to instigate most of the trouble and never get handed the blame. Who would suspect an egg with a cheeky smile, rotund appearance, and innate French charm?

Certainly not I.

Indeed, who wouldn't point fingers at Oscar? He had the very look of "goofy" and "trouble" upon his face, but really he was just a fun loving, innocent egg that exercised poor judgement.

So what kind of trouble can two silly eggs get into in an egg carton, you ask?


Oh, so many things. The list is really too long.

Most recently, Francois convinced Oscar to shout as loud as he could, "We're all going to be scrambled!!" at the processing plant. And so Oscar did. It's every eggs' dream to be used in a chiffon or a curd or an elegant French quiche with cured ham, leeks, and shallots where they can be the star of the culinary delight. Scrambled eggs - never! Don't even mention becoming a hard boiled egg. It's so...so...basic! No, that is never an egg's dream. Well, quite a few eggs couldn't handle the thought of not being the star of the culinary show, so they rolled off the processing counter and splattered on the ground below with their pride intact. It was quite a tragic day. Truly, it was. They never figured out that it was Oscar and Francois who began the trouble, but most suspected it was them. It just couldn't be proven.

And so now we come to the demise of Oscar Eggelbergensmithenscoober and Francois Oeufandbois. They ended up in my egg carton, and that's how I've come to know them. So because of their most recent trick, I decided how I was going to enjoy Oscar and Francois: scrambled, with some chopped sage, garlic, and goat cheese for a smidge of class. And so together they went into the skillet and now they reside in my tummy.


And there you have the brief story of Oscar Eggelbergensmithenscoober and Francois Oeufandbois, the silliest, troublemakingest, bestest egg friends in the world, and how they met their demise.

The moral of this story: choose your friends wisely, don't judge an egg by his appearance, do unto others as you would have them do unto you so you don't end up scrambled.

The end.

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