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Friday, September 2, 2011

To Participate Or Not, That Is The Question

I've been receiving invitations to participate in the latest "breast cancer awareness" game. Have you received the invites?

If not here's what it looks like:

In support of breast cancer awareness!

Ok pretty ladies, it's that time of year again, in support of breast cancer awareness!! So we all remember last years game of writing your bra color as your status?.....or the way we like to have our handbag handy? Remember last year so many people took part that it made national news and, the constant updating of status reminded everyone why we're doing this and helped raise awareness!! Do NOT tell any males what the status' mean, keep them guessing!! And please copy and paste (in a message )this to all your female friends to see if we can make a bigger fuss this year than last year!!! I did my part... now YOUR turn ! Go on ladies...and let's have all the males guessing! .. It's time to confuse the men again.

The idea is to choose the month you were born and the day you were born. Pass this on to the girls only and lets see how far it reaches around. The last one about the bra went round allovr the world.So you'll write... I'm (your birth month) weeks and I'm craving (your birth date)!!! as your status. Example: Feb 14th= I'm 2 weeks and craving Choclolate mints!

January-1week, Febuary-2weeks
March-3weeks, April-4weeks, May-6weeks, June-8weeks, July-10weeks, August-12weeks September-13weeks, October-14weeks, November-16weeks December-18weeks

Days of the month: 1-Skittles 2-Starburst 3-Kit-Kat 4-M&M's 5-Galaxy 6-Crunchie 7-Dairy Milk 8-Lollipop 9-Peanut Butter Cups 10-Meat Balls 11-Twizzlers 12-Bubble Gum 13-Hershey's Kisses 14-Chocolate Mints 15-Twix 16-Resse's Fastbreak 17-Fudge 18-Cherry Jello 19-Milkyway 20-Pickels 21-Creme Eggs 22-Skittles 23-Gummy Bears 24-Gummy Worms 25-Strawberry Pop Tarts 26-Starburst 27-Mini Eggs 28-Kit-Kat Chunkie 29-Double Chocolate Chip Chrunchy Cookies 30-Smarties 31-Chocolate Cake

First off, it looks like a spam bot created the message. There are so many misspellings, punctuation errors, and grammar issues that I have a mini explosion in my mind each time I see it. I would never participate in the game on that fact alone. And then there's the fact that my brain is being held hostage by the English nerd within me who is so offended at the poor presentation she might cripple my mind.

I'm going to talk directly to my Christian ladies for a second here.

If I posted, "I'm 10 weeks and I'm craving Kit-Kats!" the implication, in my case, is that I, as a Christian woman and a Christian leader, am currently engaging in a sex outside of marriage (something God asks us to keep protect, revere, and keep within marriage), and it has resulted in a pregnancy.

Someone will definitely NOT get that this is a game and they will believe that I truly am pregnant. Do I really want to mislead my circle of friends just because everyone else is participating in a game that says it's to support breast cancer awareness...even though there's no mention of breast cancer awareness?

I know, I know. You're probably rolling your eyes and thinking, "Umm...I'm married, so it's fine for me! Get off yer high horse and lighten up, Erin! It's just a game for FUN!"

But go with me on this. Just consider something with me.

"There are six things the Lord hates - no, seven things he detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord in a family." Proverbs 6:16-19

"You say, 'I am allowed to do anything' - but not everything is good for you. You say, 'I am allowed to do anything' -but not everything is beneficial. Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others." 1 Corinthians 10:23-24

Are we allowed to play the game according to this verse in 1 Corinthians?

Sure. Absolutely.

Is it beneficial?

I'm leaning towards "not really." It doesn't do anything to help breast cancer research. Participating causes a woman to lie - something the Lord hates according to the verse in Proverbs. And it causes her to purposefully deceive her friends into believing a lie - something else the Lord detests according to Proverbs.

Then there's that second part of the verse in 1 Corinthians: "Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others."

If I was to share this, I would definitely be encouraging other women to lie and to deceive. I would also be encouraging other single women to give the appearance that they are having sex out of marriage. I'd also be showing younger women that it's okay to lie and deceive as long as it's a fun game. Do I really want to encourage the 14 year old girl in my church's youth group to mislead her friends into thinking she's pregnant? Is that the example I want to set to my circle of friends?

Honestly, I'm not trying to over-spiritualize here. I'm just trying to weigh what I know to be true with what I'm being presented. These games revolve around deceiving others, and most have some sort of sexual innuendo. Remember the "Color Game?"

The "color" game seemed to be an easy answer to me. Yet, I was stunned to see fellow Christian women participating...and then getting upset and offended when men cracked jokes or asked other intimate questions. I wouldn't walk up to my worship pastor or my boss or one of male co-workers or one of male listeners (all of whom I'm friends with on Facebook), tell them the color of my undergarments, and walk away. Yet, it's essentially the same thing. I don't want any of them envisioning me in my underwear. Honestly, if I was a married woman, I would be furious at another woman for implanting an image of themselves in their skivvies in my husband's mind when I'm the one that should be occupying that space. I respect myself, my future husband, and my friend's wives too much to do that.

So I guess my challenge to you and to myself is to think about and examine these kinds of things. Even the silly little "fun" things. No matter how "fun" the games sound, do they encourage me to say things that go against what or Who I profess to follow? If I share this thing, will I trip someone else up? Will I encourage a younger woman or teen to do something that would be inappropriate even though I may have license to do it?

You and me, we're leaders. We're influencers. People pay attention to what we say and do whether we like it or not. It doesn't matter our age - whether we're in our teens, in our 30's, in our 70's - it doesn't matter what our profession is, there will always be someone who looks to us and trusts our thoughts and opinions. Everything we do has a consequence, good or bad.

If women really want to raise awareness for breast cancer, why not create a status about the importance of a self breast exam? Or why not talk about getting scheduled for a mammogram and post the date of their next exam?

Misleading people into thinking that you're pregnant? Yup...that really brings awareness to a deadly cancer.

One final thought...WHO IN THE WORLD WANTS PEOPLE THINKING THEY ARE PREGGERS?? The last thing I want is someone coming up to me who DIDN'T get that it was a game and saying, "Congrats - you looked like you were expecting!!" It's all fun and games until someone calls you FAT!

And those are my finals thoughts.

The end.



  1. Anonymous - According to a recent Facebook post I made about this, there are 94 other men and women who chose to comment/like it who all feel it's not something to "chill out" about. You're welcome to your own convictions. My conviction is lying and deception isn't something I "chill out" about. Thanks for visiting - you're welcome to sign your name the next time you post too.

  2. Thank you so much for this. This sums up exactly how I feel. I was shocked when I saw my 16 year old cousin say that she was 18 weeks and craving Cherry Jello. I truly thought she was pregnant. So did all her "friends" ...and they called her "slut," "whore," and whole bunch of other names. I guess she found out who her real friends are, but she finally had to type in all caps, "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! IT'S A GAME!!! I'M NOT REALLY PREGNANT!!!!!!" Her mom also received calls from her friends who thought her daughter was pregnant too. You're right...this "game" isn't worth lying and deceiving people over.

    Jo in Mississippi (found you through Pinterest!)

  3. I'm so glad you posted this! I was appalled by the bra color game. Of COURSE all the guys knew EXACTLY what the colors mean. And if the average guy – even a nice guy – sees a women post "red lace" (which I saw more than once), his first thought is "red lace bra." It is not, "Right, breast cancer kills; we need to do more to find a cure, and support women who are suffering from it." Even if they go on to think about breast cancer, the first thought is "bra."

    Breasts are already way over-sexualized. Why would we want to more closely associate breast cancer with sexual titillation? This is why I will not support any "Save the Tatas" or "I <3 boobies" campaigns.

    Think I'm being silly? One of my coworkers had breast cancer last fall. She was out for six weeks, but we couldn't tell anyone why she was out because she was so embarrassed that it was BREAST cancer. And she was so uncomfortable about it that she would only give updates to the female co-owner or me. And that is so very sad.



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